Insight Magazine Online
I feel punished by God because of the church I’m stuck with. My church has only a few young people, and when I go to large churches that have a lot going for young people, it makes my church seem useless. The youth program (if you can call it that) at my church has been in a sad state. I feel unwanted and neglected by my church, and I wonder if God is punishing me. My faith is getting weaker and weaker, just like my church. I have nowhere to go.—Help Me
Steve Case responds:
Dear Help Me,
First of all, let me say I’m sorry for what you’re feeling. It sounds horrible to me! You feel punished, unwanted, neglected, and weakening in faith. I hear a feeling of helplessness. I’m thinking depression as well. Yuck! I’m sorry!
When I go on the Ultimate Workout mission trip for teens each July, we always have some young people who face a similar situation to yours. Some of them have families that are dying or have self-destructed or are hostile. I’m amazed at how they continue. But to the parched faith of a teen making one final grasp for God, being on a mission trip for two weeks with a bunch of teens is like getting a tank of oxygen or a huge gulp of water.
Sometimes I wonder, What if God doesn’t come through? Sometimes I feel responsible to “make it happen” for the young person. But I’ve found that I can’t make God appear the way a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat. I can’t make a teen feel accepted just because I do my best to communicate acceptance. I can’t make a young person’s family come together or their home church come alive or love its young people. I wish I could make those things happen, but I can’t.
Can Jesus make those things happen? Can Jesus make broken families whole, make dying churches live? Can the reality of God show up in visible form?
I think the answer is yes, but He usually doesn’t. Occasionally God seems to overwhelm human beings with His majesty and power. When that happens, people tend to end up falling on the ground and acknowledging what seems obviously supernatural. Humans also do that when a bomb goes off, or an earthquake shakes, or a tornado strikes, or a gunman makes demands.
But God isn’t a bully who coerces us to follow Him. If that were His way of operating, Satan would have been annihilated thousands of years ago.
God is interested in a long-term relationship with us. In fact, the “long-term” nature of it is forever! Think of it this way: God yearns for a friendship with us that includes time, commitment, intimacy, doing stuff together, learning to trust, creating history together, clearing up misunderstandings, having fun together, asking and giving forgiveness, and many other things.
Here’s the challenge: how can you and I do this with an invisible God?
We end up looking for visible approximations of what we think is good and godly. We might describe it as a large and lively church with lots of young people who come together and worship this friendly and magnetic hero called God. Such a God gives us quick responses to our requests. Everybody gets along well. Church potlucks have plenty of good-tasting food, and there’s no indigestion. We love our pastor, and our pastor loves us and is always available to each person in the congregation and the community, just as God is always at our beck and call. We feel happy all the time. Everyone wants to join our church. The facilities are state of the art. Each Sabbath is like the final episode of American Idol or Dancing With the Stars. We can hardly wait for it to begin, and God’s decisions and preferences always match ours. This must be heaven, or at least as close as heaven can get to earth.
I would like that, wouldn’t you?
Then I look at the Bible for examples. I find heaven on earth in the Garden of Eden, and then I’m appalled that Adam and Eve opted out of it and were so gullible that they chose a snake instead of God—unbelievable! I look at the end of sin and the City of God likened to the Garden of Eden again. But in between those two video clips I find the history of this world—which seems distinctly different. It has snippets of heaven, but it often appears unfair, hostile, gloomy, wicked, greedy, destructive, and dying.
The Bible has many examples of heroes who lived for God and even experienced supernatural moments, but who also at some point had their problems. Hebrews 11—the faith chapter—talks about some of them. These people kept on trusting God even when it seemed there was no hope. And it sounds to me as though you are in need of a fresh dose of hope! Where can you get some hope?
Well, hope comes from faith, which sprouts from love. Let me reverse the order. I have found that when I sense God’s love (step 1), my faith grows (step 2) because I trust God more based on His love for me. When I trust God, I sense hope (step 3) because it’s not just me against the whole world, or the whole world against me. As Paul said (Romans 8:31), “If God is for us, who can be against us?” That’s a rhetorical question—the answer is so obvious it doesn’t need to be said: no matter who is against us, they are like nothing compared to God. And God loves you and me!
You have plenty of evidence that people don’t care about you, that your church doesn’t care about you, that you no longer care about you. Therefore you start to think, God doesn’t care about me. You need to reverse that thought process. Don’t start with others or even with yourself. You’ll end up depressed, and you’ll have a god that’s no bigger than you!
Instead, start with God. God loves you! Based on the fact that God loves you, you have good reason to love yourself—not blindly and not ignoring any defects you might have, but loving yourself because God loves you. God’s not an idiot. He chooses to love you. So go with God’s determination.
When you start to love yourself (because God loves you), then you can love others (including those at church). But this love isn’t based on what they do for you. That’s moving in the wrong direction. You love them because God loves you and that love has filled you and is spilling out so you can love others. It came from God, not in response to others giving you a cool youth Sabbath school or saying nice things to you every Sabbath.
As you develop the habit of loving others at church, by continuing your connection with God you will have love for others in this world, including those outside of church. You’ll start to love everyone based on God, not based on them. That’s just the opposite of most people! You’ll view life very differently then!
Here’s the way Paul wrote it in Romans 5:1-5:
“Since then it is by faith that we are justified (connected to God), let us grasp the fact that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have confidently entered into this new relationship of grace, and here we take our stand, in happy certainty of the glorious things he has for us in the future. This doesn’t mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys—we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. These very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. Already we have the love of God flooding through our hearts by the Holy Spirit given to us” (Phillips).*
*Bible texts credited to Phillips are from J. B. Phillips: The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition. © J. B. Phillips 1958, 1960, 1972. Used by permission of Macmillan Publishing Co.
Steve Case is a youth pastor, popular speaker, and mission trip leader. He’s also president of Involve Youth, an organization energizing young people for service. He writes from Sacramento, California. Got a spiritual question? Send it to: Pastor Steve, Insight, 55 W. Oak Ridge Dr., Hagerstown, MD 21740-7390, or insight@rhpa.org.
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